In my quiet moments I'm learning to let myself fully entertain my own thoughts and feelings. It's looking, to me, as if I learn and grow in layers. Each time I have come finally to decode what feels initially like garbled data - and to understand more clearly what I am seeing, feeling and hearing - then I'm in good shape to move through another layer.
Some days, this is heaviy lifting: learning how to live well feels like too hard a struggle. But then I consider the alternatives - living a hollow and meaningless life, wasting or even resenting my life, living stupidly and blundering mindlessly along, living only on the surface, never letting anything or anyone really touch or move me is certainly no easy option and I don;t want to take it.
When I look at those alternatives, it puts the struggle in perspective; I understand why I carry on and I stop trudging - and try and step a bit more gratefully and joyfully. In the end, the payback is always there and the struggle is definitely worthwhile!
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